Strangers talk to each other
The interesting thing is that we are not always very good at judging the impression we make on the first meeting. This is because we do not fully notice the verbal and non-verbal signals of our interlocutors.
But others can. That’s why Dufner and Cross made one research, in which 139 men and women who had not met each other had a five-minute face-to-face conversation. These conversations have been observed by third parties.
Observers rated the responses
Participants were asked about their first impression of the person they were going to meet before the actual conversation. This assessment was based on photographs of the person and a short personal introduction. After the conversation, the participants had to rate how much they liked the person now.
All conversations were filmed, and the recordings were viewed and analyzed by four independent observers. Observers were trained to look for two types of behavior: domineering, self-confident, and somewhat boastful behavior, and polite, benevolent, warm, and friendly behavior.
Show interest in the other
There is a crucial difference between these two behaviours. Highly self-confident people who tend to act slightly dominant and self-assured in conversation are more likely to achieve general popularity associated with status, respect, or admiration. This is of particular value.
On the other hand, people who act more inclusively and seem genuinely interested in their interlocutor evoke a different kind of emotion in the other person. Researchers call this “unique empathy.” This behavior leads to close friendships, good coworkers, and warm romantic relationships.
Warm behavior earns points
Based on their observations, the researchers have a message for people who want to know how to arouse empathy in others.
Get as warm as possible. Showing self-confidence and dominance can be beneficial to someone’s instant popularity, but if your goal is to have close relationships with people and build close relationships with them, then it pays to show interest in and dependence on the other person. Target it,” the researchers write psychology.
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