We may not like to admit it, but we still sometimes wonder how much someone loves us and whether we are loved. Especially with a first impression. The researchers looked at which traits elicited the most empathy upon first acquaintance. And it turns out that “being loved” is not at all so difficult.
Looking for an impressive first impression
In their research, researchers Michael Dufner and Sasha Krause show that people quickly judge each other during the dating process. According to them, how much we like or dislike someone is an important factor in the development of a relationship. But now the question remains: When do we love someone?
Their research found that two types of behavior lead to popularity in the first meeting:
- agent behaviour – where someone hopes to gain respect or admiration. What you might recognize as dominant or confident behavior.
- common behaviour When someone is trying to create a trusting and supportive bond. What you can recognize as a warm, welcoming, and friendly demeanor.
Popularity or relationships and friendships
The researchers observed several introductory conversations and came to two specific forms of empathy.
- Popularity, how much others like the individual.
- Unique Likeability, the extent to which an individual has a particular crush on a particular person.
According to researchers, neither form of empathy is better than the other. Because popularity indicates that someone is socially acceptable and respected in their group. Unique empathy can define relationships and friendships.
And from the above results, the researchers drew their conclusions. For example, it turns out that proxy behavior (trusting and controlling) and team behavior (warm and friendly) lead to popularity. But when it comes to unique empathy (towards the individual), societal behavior has mostly been valued and considered “I like you.”
That’s a lot of material, but Travers sums up the psychological findings again. Do you want to make a good first impression? According to the researchers, it’s best to keep it simple. “Common behaviors such as friendliness, helpfulness, or warmth have positive effects on likeability all around. In contrast, aging behavior (dominance, influencing others) can backfire. So, be nice and the effect will likely be positive,” Travers said. By the way, lying is not considered nice behaviour. Did you already know this trick that allows you to spot a potential liar?
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