December 1, 2023

Taylor Daily Press

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Readers’ Column: Hopefully it won’t happen again |

Readers’ Column: Hopefully it won’t happen again |

Leon Cobb


After a few very painful days, fortunately, I returned to the land of the living.

Norovirus: A small, sneaky invader that enters your digestive system uninvited and starts a party you didn’t sign up for at all. It’s as if you’re hosting an exclusive dinner party and these uninvited guests have added themselves to the guest list. They’re also called “noroviruses,” but it’s better to call them “party crashers.”

Let’s start with the name “norovirus.” It sounds like something you’d find in a far-off sci-fi story, and not like the reason for those miserable days when you kindly say thank you for getting out of bed. If we were more gentle, we might call it the “stomach flu,” but let’s face it, that’s like saying a hurricane is a “mini-tornado.”

So, what is this norovirus anyway? It is a highly contagious virus that causes inflammation in the lining of the digestive tract, and once infected, it will treat your stomach and intestines like an amusement park whose rollercoasters never stop.

Well, well, norovirus, that little uninvited guest that enters your digestive system without even a proper invitation. It’s like having an unannounced guest at a party, except that the “party” is taking place in your stomach and only invites you into a severe, loud bout of vomiting and diarrhea.

Let’s call it “stomach flu,” doesn’t that sound much nicer? But let’s face it, if you have the stomach flu, you might expect a mild cold to be your stomach, not the battleground for norovirus’ gastrointestinal issues.

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It’s like a bad sci-fi movie, where an invisible enemy, the norovirus, attacks the human body and its protagonists, that is, you, are forced to endure unpredictable sounds and sensations. It usually begins with an ominous feeling of nausea, followed by a plot twist of epic proportions that has you expelling the entire contents of your stomach in a display reminiscent of an alien laying eggs.

Oh, but that’s not all! Norovirus is a genius at finding ways to make you suffer. While you’re vomiting like you’re participating in the stomach virus Olympics, you’re also starting to get diarrhea, which means you’re being attacked from both sides. It’s as if your stomach and intestines are starring in their own horrific horror movie.

Norovirus is also an expert at spreading fear and panic. It doesn’t even wait until you get sick before it starts infecting you. No, it’s hiding in your feces, ready to strike like a ninja in the night. If you do not care enough to wash your hands after going to the toilet, the virus will strike you mercilessly.

And let’s talk about the pounds you’re losing during this battle. You feel bad, your stomach feels like it’s trying to communicate with an alien, and you lose weight like you’re on the latest diet plan in the universe. Your scale generously indicates that you’ve lost a few pounds, but at what cost?

So, while you sit there, struggling with norovirus, remember that this little scourge has been waiting for the right moment to strike. It’s like a bad horror movie taking place inside your body. So, let’s toast to washing hands, avoiding dehydration, and hoping this uninvited guest leaves my body soon.
Hopefully never again.

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