Some start first beats Already dancing. Others sway uncertainly on the edge of the dance floor. Confidence coach Karleen van Kotzem created an initiative for the latter group: ConfiDance, a series of twerkshops that boost your confidence on and off the dance floor. Editors Kato and Chlo tested it. “The content of the lesson was far from my comfort zone, but I even had a ‘get excited’ moment.” Karlien shares 8 confidence tips for wall fans.
Two years ago, Carlin van Cutsem started ConfiDance from the ground. “ConfiDance represents the mind-body-spirit relationship for women who want to boost their confidence on and off the dance floor. Those who sign up, follow the eight-week twerkshop class series at Antwerp Youth Centre, Kafka.”
How exactly does Carlin fill in those lessons? With sensory courses, twerking essentials, moments of reflection, and powerful affirmations. “All kinds of treatments to boost your confidence,” she laughs. Twerking, for example, is the perfect dance move to embrace your femininity. It’s so much more than just ‘marginally shake your ass.’ It’s a real confidence booster, just like body wraps or other simple steps like shrugging your shoulders or rocking your hips. I also sometimes give A lesson in heels that everyone loves.”
In addition to the content of dances, music is also very important. “She should have a good beat. We dance to Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj, Cardi B, Dua Lipa… I also love using African music and dancehall music.”
(Read more below the video.)
Carlin: “There is a reason ConfiDance consists of several lessons. More self-confidence takes time, it is a process of growth. I can “bounce” on someone in one lesson, but you will notice the effect on your confidence only after a few weeks. For example, I danced Several girls in long sweatpants at the first twerkshops, because showing up in shorts was out of their comfort zone. Yet they are now, in short, after a number of lessons. That says something, doesn’t it?”
To ensure everyone can continue to work on their self-confidence, Karlien also gives the group ‘Home Networks’. “Every week I give home a dance exercise that the girls have to photograph and post in our WhatsApp group. This way everyone also learns to look at themselves. Compliments from the group also improve self-confidence of course. I see everyone grow every week. My goal is, of course , that they will eventually dare to give themselves entirely on the dance floor. But the fact that they are actually able to do so during my classes is a very good start.”
Does it really help?
There is no doubt that you can give yourself completely during the Twerkshop in Karlien. But is it true that your confidence also grows outside the secure walls of ConfiDance? Editors Chloë and Kato tested it.
Editor Chloe: “You’re not going to see me shaking my hips on the dance floor anytime soon. I feel uncomfortable with her. So with a small heart I went to ConfiDance. Because spinning in a circle or performing sexy dance moves on the floor is way too far out of my comfort zone.” With the Kato editor it’s a little different. “Am I insecure on the dance floor? Of course not.” (He laughs) “I always give everything. Unabashedly. So I was curious to know the effect of twerkshop on me.”
‘I feel attractive’ moment
“As a warm-up, we had to let go of our bodies and close our eyes,” says Chloe. “I still hear Carlene saying: ‘You’re here because you give it to yourself.’ I felt uncomfortable at first, but I saw from the corner of my eye that everyone immediately threw themselves completely. Then I decided: OK, let’s go.”
Although I’m not insecure, I still have to get used to twerking. It is very sensual.
After the warm-up, Karlien taught the group some of the basics of Twerk. Cato: “Despite the fact that I’m not insecure, I still have to get used to twerking. It’s so sensual.” Chloe: “I had a ‘get excited’ moment. I never expected that.” (rays)
The rest of the lesson revolves around a sensual dance to the club’s song “Et C’est Parti”. “The strength, body swings, and chafing techniques in the dances made me feel very feminine and sexy,” Kato says. This was also due to the affirmations we had to shout about. †I’m strong! I’m strong! I’m a badass!It was a little awkward but the adrenaline you get is great.”
(Read more below the video.)
“Still a challenge’
“I found it surprising that I dared to give myself completely during the lesson, despite my insecurities. But fair? I wouldn’t shake my hip so hard on the dance floor after one class,” says Chloe. “I am still very uncomfortable with that. So I definitely need another lesson or seven.” Cato: “My confidence got an extra boost because of the sensual steps. But you have to be able to make that click to dare give yourself away. It seems to me that this is a challenge for insecure people.”
And what about the other women who follow ConfiDance? “This was only my second lesson, but I was already daring to dance or dance sexy at a festival. Maybe not in the middle of the crowd, it takes time,” says Evelyn (22).
“Before Carlin’s lessons, I also dared to go on the dance floor,” says Allen, 21. “But especially in a funny way. At ConfiDance I learned that I can and dare to dance in a sensual way. Thanks to Carlin, I felt like I’m not only allowed to see my funny self.”
“Thanks to the series of classes I feel more feminine and confident than ever before, whether at parties or at home. Now I’m dancing alone in my pajamas, something I’ve never dared before,” says Rih (26). ): “I get out of my comfort zone on the dance floor a lot faster now. I’ve only dared to do it since I started dancing with Carlin.”
(Read more below the image.)
8 Karlien confidence tips for those who need more confidence on the dance floor:
1. Practice makes perfect
“There is one golden rule to become more confident: practice. Dance at home in pajamas, in the garden, or while cooking. Every moment you practice, you become more confident. And if you learn to overcome the threshold of dancing on your own, it will also become easier at the party” .
2. The music maestro
“Give yourself completely music that doesn’t suit you? It doesn’t work. So always put together a playlist that perfectly suits your taste. It will make it easier for you to start dancing. So also choose those parties that you know the style of music suits you.”
“Praise yourself and praise yourself. This indirectly boosts your confidence.”
“Create your own ritual when you’re going to the party. I always play nice music when I’m getting ready. But you can also stand in front of the mirror before you leave or use your hair dryer as a microphone when blow-drying your hair.”
“Go out in that outfit you feel most comfortable in. Choose this outfit for yourself, not ‘because it’s trendy’ or ‘because your friend(s) like it.'”
“Go dancing with the people you feel comfortable with. You can also dance together in a circle if you are insecure, so you can see your friends dancing and dare to let yourself go faster.”
7. Va va voom
†jib Elaborately executed dance steps, the ambiance you radiate is more important. Although you dance to the rhythm, let her go† People prefer watching someone have fun.”
8. Step by step
“At the party, always start where you feel comfortable. When you notice that you are having a good time, you can calmly move to the middle. Before you know it, you are in the middle of the dance floor.”
More info on ConfiDance or Karlien’s book Team Building, Bachelorette Parties,…? Check Instagram for her† Classes are held every Tuesday at the Antwerp Youth Centre, Kafka.
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